Do you remember, love, my angel? Prancing upon the clouds,
Beneath our feet, the stars, alighting,
Dancing our melody.
This isn't anything special, but it's what I do and perhaps someone else can get some ideas from it.
It's 10pm. I'm tired of pouring my heart out to you. I strive. I know they say I shouldn't, but I don't know the alternative. If I sit in silence it's the same. Nothing. A though here, a whisper there. I know it's you, God. But it's not enough.
Since I was in middle school I've been fascinated by artificial chemistry. I remember creating simulations in ActionScript of little billard balls bouncing around and reacting. I spent my time battling little darwinbots, and designing rulesets and little "creatures" in golly. I even had a little Core Wars phase. Tim Hutton was my secret hero, and his java applet (rewritten here) and his many wonderful papers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) opened my eyes to what might be possible to create. I'd sit through college classes on UML dreaming of different representations of particles, rules, and the kind of "life" they'd enable.
It is the lonely who are close to God. Not because, as so many simply assume, they have no one else,
But because the loneliness of God can be known only by these.
We've all heard the qualifiers. The reasons why God won't answer your prayer. "It's not his will". "No is an answer too". "There's likely sin in your life".
I want my life defined by courage. This means expecting the best possible outcome, not the average case. This is faith. I don't want to live in fear, which is expecting the worst-case outcome.
These are the most important aspects of your character: your love/attitude towards: 1. God
Other people
Yourself
I used to think humility was the most important quality a person could pursue. If you're humble you can "fix" any other deficient quality, because you'll listen to the people who are giving you feedback.
I spent some time with a homeless man the other day. He said something I've been thinking about since: "Sometimes the silence is more dangerous than the noise".
Isaiah 58 changed everything for me. For a long time I made seeking and knowing God the goal of my life. It was straightforward. Not easy, but straightforward. Spend time alone with him. Feel what's on his heart. Thank him for the countless ways I've been overwhelmed by his love. Put on some music and sing to him, dance with him. I felt him, so many nights, alone and desparate for his presence, he poured out his love on me.
I wonder if God likes knowing everything. I don't know if I would. Surprises are fun. Constraints make him more powerful.
For a long time I've held a neutral view on light recreational drugs. I tried to base this on my interpretation of the Bible. My interpretation is that most guidance related to drugs refers to being sober-minded, which in my experience, is a pretty clear boundary that can be kept within.
There's a place where darkness hangs, A cloud of misery and of pain.
And though it never comes to mind,
A swarm of demons flies inside.
I've walked for miles, chasing you, Down long and winding roads.
Fleeting glimpses, wind and smoke,
Whisper you are close.
This is the primary model of computation today:
At a number of points in my career I've desired a small, jq-like language for representing a transformation from some input to an output. I'd like it to be
simple enough for things like loop counters to be simply i + 1, while flexible
enough to process sequence mappings and reductions. I'd like it to be pure and
deterministic, allowing the embedder to handle IO and any interaction with the
world. I'd like it to be minimal, even to the point of the embedder providing
things like numbers and strings. Some environments will want numbers to be
python-like bigints, while others might want a simple double. Finally, I'd like
it to be eventually fast and able to be compiled.
You gave up your son for me, I raise up my hands.
You laid down your life for me,
I fall to the ground.